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Does HIV Really Matter Anymore?
Discreet City / Octavius Williams

Discreet City has written many posts about HIV / AIDS awareness in communities of color, so we know the statistics.  Some stats may have been eye openers; however I have been seeing negative stats for years.  So when it comes to new surveys or new information concerning homosexual men and HIV transmission, my attitude is somewhat “okay, what else is new?”

That's what I was thinking when I read a recent article pertaining to unprotected (bareback) sex and men hooking up using mobile apps like Grinder.  I then asked myself, why did I have this attitude?  Was I wrong to think this way?  Was I becoming desensitized to another reminder of poor sexual behavior by bi or homosexual men?

Does HIV matter anymore in industrialized countries where medications are readily available for those who choose to take them?


A Community Healthcare Network (CHN) survey, titled "Zero Feet Away: Perspective on HIV/AIDS and Unprotected Sex in Men Who Have Sex With Men Utilizing Location-based Mobile Apps" conducted a recent poll of 725 men.

In a nut shell, the poll concluded that of men who have sex with men (MSM) and who meet their sexual partners through the use of geo-social networking apps (like Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt, and Growlr on their mobile devices), practiced bareback sex (defined as unprotected anal sex for the survey) over 46% of the time.

What were the reasons for this behavior?  Well, 84.6% reported “with condoms it does not feel the same” and 73.8% stated it was “impulsive sexual behaviors” which included being under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

With the majority of the respondents to the survey residing in Australia, South America, Eastern Europe, the UK, Canada, and in the US; the percentage of men meeting each other on mobile apps is growing.

Vancouver therapist Bill Coleman, who has worked with the HIV community for more than 25 years
, adds that people are often not assertive enough to insist on condom use. “Part of it is, ‘if I insist you use a condom, then I’m accusing you of being positive or you are going to think I am positive.’”

He says often people feel vulnerable in hookup situations, or they’re expecting hot sex only to find themselves in a “boring negotiation” that may put people off.

Coleman says people are not out looking to get infected, and know that fucking without condoms is a risk, but it happens anyway.

As with any survey or poll, there are always those of us who are non-responsive.  Personally I think these numbers are higher even though there is no real way to prove it.

In preparation to write this post, I wanted to satisfy some suspicions; so I went to different blogs and message boards to reactions to this news article.  It was interesting to notice a couple of themes or “group think” in many of the responses which were…


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Group 1 “I always have safe sex”.

No surprise here.  Nothing wrong with taking responsibility and looking out for your own best interest by playing it safe.

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Group 2 “Straight people have unprotected sex, so what’s the big deal?  I don’t see a survey on them”.

This was the group that was attempting to find something offensive or homophobic about the article in an attempt to deflect and in turn, completely missed the point.  The survey (which was developed by Dr Freddy Molano and Renato Barucco of CHN) was just a step in figuring out ways in developing different ways to deliver prevention messages to gay and bi men.

Molano stated “We have spent a lot of money and time on condom initiatives, and I’m pretty sure that many people are using condoms, but the reality is other people have decided that they would rather have sex without condoms.”

Group 3 “HIV is no longer a death sentence.  There are medications that allow us to live normal, healthy, long lives.  If I get HIV, all I have to do is pop a pill and everything is okay”.

This group is mainly the reason for this post.  There are two subsets in my opinion that make up the “pop a pill” group.
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The first subset group is the young gays within the “gay generational gap”.  These young gays did not experience the horrors of the 80’s and 90’s when the AIDS epidemic was killing thousands of gay men. Many of these young men (ages 13-29) account for the 61% of all new HIV infections in the US.

The other subset group consists of gays (of all ages) who are a part of our overly medicated society that help drive the multi-billion dollar prescription drug industry.  You know the group that consists of those who would whether pop a pill than use diet and exercise to lower their cholesterol amongst other things.

What these folks are not keeping in mind is that “popping pills” for a disease like HIV/AIDS can be very expensive.

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Depending on the time (the stage of illness) HIV treatment regimens range from $2,000 to $5,000 per month.  Even with insurance, treatment can be expensive.  A Houston, Texas resident who was interviewed about his out of pocket treatment costs says despite having private insurance that covers the cost of his HIV medications, he is constantly juggling the cost of co-pays with other necessary expenses, such as rent and food.

"I just live paycheck to paycheck. I do not live extravagantly; I have simple tastes. It’s very difficult to pay for co-pays when you don’t make a lot of money. I was paying around $400 a month on the four medications I’m on and I had to really shop around," he recalls.

Almost half of those living with HIV in the United States are covered by a federally funded programs like Medicare or Medicaid. In some states, however; you may not be eligible for Medicaid until you have full blown AIDS or are otherwise disabled by HIV.

Basically, you have to be on your death bed before you can receive federal assistance.

Medicare part D, which was developed to cover medications including HIV drugs, has a restriction in its annual benefit. Recipients are required to pay $3,051 out of pocket before their basic coverage benefit is used up and before the catastrophic coverage kicks in, to cover the rest of the year’s medication needs.

This can be a substantial financial burden for many and even more of a financial burden if they are uninsured.  According to the department of Health & Human Services, the uninsured are disproportionately between the ages of 18 and 34. They are also more persons of color in the US who are uninsured than whites with Hispanics comprising (30.7%), Blacks (20.8%) and Asians at (18.1%) of those who are uninsured.

So you see the “just pop a pill” thought process has a hefty price tag.  Not to mention this is less money that can be put towards the things that could improve your quality of life, like savings accounts, investments, where you live, paying off debts, vacations, etc.

So to answer my own questions…

Am I becoming desensitized to another reminder of poor sexual behavior by bi or homosexual men?  Yes…somewhat. Like many of us, I am tired of seeing the same negative stats when it comes to HIV/AIDS and men of color.  Some major cities in the US (like DC) have transmission rates that rival parts of Africa. It does seem like a lot gay men just don’t care anymore.

Does HIV matter (should it be a concern) anymore in industrialized countries where medications are available for those who choose to take them? Yes it still does matter because it still kills those who don’t have access or can’t afford the treatment.  Also many HIV positive men who do not know their status can spread the disease to others. 

Financially it’s a burden because the cost to pay for the treatment could be invested back into ourselves and our communities that could improve our quality of life.  Numerous reports are available that show how the wealth gap is widening between whites and communities of color.

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Yes medications and treatments are here to help those who are infected live normal, healthy, long and productive lives; however the cost is still hurting us and it takes away financial resources that could be used to strengthen us.

The HIV / AIDS  crisis could be very manageable in communities of color. This is something theoretically we could have absolute control over; however as long as current attitudes persists, I do feel like nothing will change the direction we are headed in.  Sorry, but I do understand I am being pessimistic, but hey...here's to HOPE!      right?


Feel free to share your feedback.



 


Comments

a.davis
01/29/2013 2:54pm

Being someone who is HIV positive I will say that it still matters.Although it is no longer the death sentence that it use to be I would still want to be negative if I could.Even at the advent of Aids men were still barebacking.I really don't know what to say to explain why they do it however if you watch Porno you will see that's the big thing. They are also into breeding in a great deal of those movies.The Meds that are available now makes this a very manageable disease so therefore people aren't really being educated about preventing it.It just seems as if there is no longer the urgency there to put the message out so therefore dudes are going in unprotected.I say to people that there is definitely life after diagnosis however why get it if you don't have too

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Ocky
01/29/2013 5:15pm

Thanks man for your feedback. If you dont mind me asking. How much are your costs per month for your medications?

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a.davis
01/31/2013 10:17pm

They are astronomical.One of my Meds alone cost close to $4000.00.The Ryan White Fund was really my lifeline because I was just laid off from my job when I was diagnosed and I didn't have healthcare.I often wonder how in a country as rich as ours that the issue of not having money to pay for these meds allow people to die and fall through the cracks.

01/29/2013 9:13pm

You are right; the HIV battle is already lost in America, and the only solution to runaway costs (of the medication) is a cure.

Sadly, it is lost in Africa, too, because of the perception that it is now a treatable illness. But the medication isn't available so HIV is spreading in the MSM cohort again ... without the attendant treatment available in America and Europe.

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Cee
01/29/2013 10:14pm

"Coleman says people are not out looking to get infected, and know that fucking without condoms is a risk, but it happens anyway."

FALSE.
In talking with gay white men I've come across countless "bug chasers," and wannabe bug chasers (men who get off on fantasizing about getting "poz'd up").

I have a friend who has bareback sex with fuck buddies and random guys regularly. I don't judge him. He's a good guy. He says bareback sex makes him feel free and that he's never felt more free in his life. I think these therapists and universities doing these studies on gay men and HIV are looking at it from a very shallow perspective. There's a lot more going on here psychologically and emotionally with these men who are barebacking in a way that seems so careless. Sometimes it is just impulse, but I think that is more the exception than the rule.

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African King
01/29/2013 11:05pm

Wow damn I just read about this inside of JET magazine (with the sexy Laz Alonso on the cover). It says that youths from 13-24 years old account for 25% of the new HIV/AIDS infections in 2010. Black men account for 45% of the new HIV/AIDS diagnoses out of that group. But get this.... the study states that the largest group of infections came from MSM (and HIV + ppl who don't know they're infected) which accounts for 60% of the black men infected in 2010.

Stats like these make me scared of even thinking about sex! I haven't crossed that line yet due to abstinence but I hope when that time comes, there is a mutual trust between me and my partner.

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Craig
01/30/2013 12:44am

At what point did things switch from using condoms to going bareback being the IT thing to do....maybe because I'm in my 40's and can remember the beginnings of the AIDS epidemic, when AIDS was call the "gay mans cancer", before there was AZT, groups like ACT UP, news reports of millions of Africans dying of the disease on a daily bases (remember the original BAND-AID), Ryan White, and a lot more that I'm not willing to ever go raw.....Some things may have change and HIV/AIDS is no longer the death sentence it once was but it's still not worth the risk. One bad trip to a barber who after the fact I found out he was not licensed has left me with scalp breakouts cause me to have to get injections every 3 to 5 months for the rest of my life, why would I want to risk getting a disease where I'd have to take a regiment of almost 20 pills a day to stay alive, sex is already risky why let it be deadly. To those living with HIV/AID I wish you the best, I know people who have been living with it for over 20yrs but I also know people who were willing to seroconvert because the believed HIV/AID was not big deal and some who wanted to have the same status as there partner. No matter if it's HIV/AIDS or any other STI (sexually transmitted infection) anything I can use as prevention I'm using it.

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Grateful
01/30/2013 2:09am

Thanks for this article Ocky! I think we NEED to have candid discussions about HIV/AIDS in the black/brown/yellow/red gay communities. Seemingly, the message hasn't penetrated the masses. (pardon the pun) Let me briefly tell my story, hoping that some young and impressionalbe gay man of color will read this and think twice before "going raw". I moved to the ATL in 99 to attend a HBCU. I was so thrilled about the experience and all that college life on my own would entail. I had managed to remain a virgin until right after I started the second semester of my Fresman year. I had a condom, but my partner (4 years older than me and in grad-school) said we didn't have to. He looked fine and I really didn't think anything of it. He, in fact, didn't have HIV but it led me down a path of trusting people and basing health on physical appearance. Fast forward to my Sophmore year; I met an older guy (he was about 26) and he seemed perfect. He had his own car, house, good job, and college degree. He was affectionate and loved God. We entered into a relationship and it became physical. We ultimately had unprotected sex. Come to find out a year later that he was sleeping with another man and a women. Both college students like me. I was devastated! After we broke up I had gotten flu like symtoms and "over the counters" weren't helping. I went to the doctor and he gave me some anitbiotics. World Aids Day was around the corner and a friend of mine suggested that we get tested. I was a little nervous because I knew that I'd put myself at risk, but I just knew that God had covered me and I would be fine. I went to get tested and the rest is history. I've been on medication since about 2008. I was covered through the Ryan White program until recently. My out of pocket cost for my medicine is about 90 bucks a month. It could be a lot worse! I'm on one pill a day, but nothing that I did in my past was worth putting myself in this situation. I'm pleading to all men (especially young men) who are reading this, PLEASE ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! (even for oral sex) Don't buy into the hype! NOBODY will care about your well-being more than YOU! Protect yourself at all costs! Again, thanks for this article! We need more discussion on this serious topic!

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African King
01/30/2013 9:26am

I am grateful for this reply! I am a younger and impressionable gay man of color and I've thought so much about this "bareback" issue. I would think that people would know more about taking those steps but I think as they saying goes, "when you know better, you will do better." I remember talking with a str8 co-worker about how he did not have guidance when he was younger so he was having sex w/o condoms and then ended up having to pay child support to three different women later in his life. But yeah you're experience reminds me of when I visited an HBCU in the AUC down in the ATL some years back... I learned that Morehouse at one point had the highest incidence of syphilis amongst all universities in the U.S. That is so crazy! I think that we all should do our part to educate ourselves and also educate people to protect themselves in all forms of sex (oral, anal....and vaginal for the bi guys out there lol).

Also, I think we need to remember that we need to also love and respect ourselves enough to use protection. According to the Dalai Lama, we are responsible for three things: respect to others, respect for self and taking responsibility for all our actions. HIV does matter so let's take initiative and protect ourselves!!!

Thanks Ocky!

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Leonard Goodwin
01/30/2013 9:49am

I have only one question what was the source of your information about the syphilis infection rate at Morehouse College. It does not sound reasonable at all given the fact that other black colleges are truly party colleges. Our rates of infection have not gone down because black people have not dealt with internalized negrophobia and internalized homophobia, and the disrespect and contempt that go along with those untreated phobias. Of course, the typical attitudes that many people have about sex is the foundation of many of our sexual issues.

Nick D
01/30/2013 3:03pm

Lot of heavy information and fact presented in this piece, you guys really need to take heed and consider your future. One night of sex with a many you barely know can change your life forever.

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Ray
01/30/2013 8:03pm

One night of sex with a man you have known for years can change your life forever. The majority of people I know didn't get hiv from random sex...it was from someone they were dating or had been seeing for a while.

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Grateful
01/30/2013 9:36pm

Thanks for reiterating what I believe is a critical part of my testimony. For some reason, people tend to just assume that if someone contracts HIV it was because of random unprotected hookups. I think that it's pretty dumb to make that assertion. But that's part of the stigma associated with the disease. While I don't require sympathy, I do want people to know that you can get HIV from a friend, lover, or random hookup. Just because you have one night of sex with a man you know very well, doesn't mean you're safe. I don't recommend having unprotected sex with ANYONE; EVER!

Ocky
01/30/2013 11:26pm

Hey "Ray" not taking away from the point that you and "Grateful" were making...I think Nick was just responding to the specifics of the posts.

Which were men meeting off mobile apps specifically for hookups / one night stands and practicing bareback sex.

Kyle
01/30/2013 7:38pm

I can't say anything thats already been said about safe sex, I'll just say that there is always an alternative to anal sex with your partner thats still as enjoyable (it would be to me and many others) this less dangerous sex is called Frot which usually involves penis to penis contact. It has the safe sex advantage of lowering the risk of sexually transmitted infections without the need for condoms or lubricants, and It not painful like anal lol! Frot can be enjoyable because it mutually and simultaneously stimulates the genitals of both partners as it tends to produce pleasurable friction against the frenulum nerve bundle on the underside of each man's penile shaft, just below the urinary opening (meatus) of the penis head (glans penis). When my first time comes around I'll prefer this.

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COSHAMO
02/02/2013 8:54am

I want so bad to keep it real and be myself in this post, and I am going to do just that. I am hoping that what I have to say doesn't offend anyone as I am going to say what needs to be said. I am going to keep it really really RAW with y'all - pun intended.

I remember when AIDS first came into being. It was devastating to the African-American/Black Gay community. Many people died. It was horrific. There were so many deaths of people who had been living a carefree sexual uninhibited lifestyle. To be Gay meant to be sexually FREE. There had been a lot of casual sexual encounters among gay men in general. Black men were no different, but for some reason it seemed to be more Black men dying of this horrific disease. Every month I would hear of more and more deaths of people I had known, or known in passing, or people I had known from a distance - in a roundabout way. It was a house of horrors, nightmares even. Everyday more deaths and more infections. People were trembling, scared and wandering who would be next. It was hard to change people's idea of "gay" being interpreted as sexual freedom, which in essence it is - have as much sex as you want, whenever and however you want, and with whomever you want. Just imagine trying to reel in that type of sexually free attitude that had permeated the minds of the Black Gay community for a good 20 years. GAY SEX was part of the sexual revolution. But it wasn't just the Black Gay community who were experimenting with "sexual freedom." Many people were experimenting. Thus AIDS, literally, had become a plague on the Black community. Black people had - and still do to this very day - the highest infection rates - the HIV/AIDS rate soared - and to this very day the numbers are still skyrocketing.

At this time I literally detached from ALL sexual encounters and became an introvert. I just didn't feel like dying just yet. I wanted to live. I wanted to make it past this episodic time in my life, in our lives. Death was rampant and I wanted to live. I wanted to see tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that. I WANTED TO LIVE AND NOT DIE. I wanted to tell our story.

I refrained from all sexual encounters to the best of my abilities. Yes, I had sex, but it was 99 percent protected sex, and very sparingly. It was very hard and very difficult. But I had to discipline myself so that I could live - live to tell my story. Live to tell our story!

I have gone without sex for six months at a time. Even now, as much as I desire the closeness of a sexual encounter, I am not having as much sex as I would like to. I respect myself and my body. It's either something real and of substance or else I don't want it. That's the principle that I live by. The principle I have always lived by. But now it is so solid with me. I have internalized it and fully embraced it.

Now for the RAW part.

RAW: Extremely unabashedly and unashamedly so

I don't want sex with anybody who doesn't fucking care about me and I don't care shit about them. I am not fucking going out like that. If I know this shit between us is not going to work from jump then why the fuck am I in it. I need to come to my mutha fuckin senses and with the quickness. All this bare backing and raw sex is not something I will be engaging in with someone who is just a one night stand. I want conversation, romantics, love, respect, dignity, trust and equal responsibility. If you can't bring me that and/or more... then FUCK YOU. Die by yourself. You have nobody to blame but yourself for the idiotic and stupid shit that you say and do. Get control of your life and yourself. I will continue to jack my dick off. If you CAN'T bring the bare minimum to the table then where the fuck is this going? Nowhere fast. If you bring nothing but shit to an encounter expect shit in return. SHIT IS ALL YOU WILL GET, LITERALLY too. Pun, most DEFINITELY intended.

The posts on this website says it all. Basically what I get from this site is the sense that we all need to step up our game. This site, www.discreetcity.com, is positive, uplifting, informative, and progressive. I could add more, but suffice it to say: protect yourself, protect others, respect yourself, respect others.
Make yourself better, make others better. Live a better life.

Now, let me give all of you some very frightening news that I have obtained from a very reliable source - a very well established professional.

THERE IS A HIGH SCHOOL WITH A 50 PERCENT AIDS INFECTION RATE!!!!

THIS IS VERY SCARY.

I have had this confirmed by other sources that I didn't even ask!!!
We need to change. This casual sex bullshit has got to stop or else we will be extinct.

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Black Pegasus
02/02/2013 4:48pm

COSHAMO

That was a very provocative post my man.. I agree with your passion in a lot of ways. Thanks for your insight!

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Grateful
02/02/2013 5:40pm

I agree with Black Pegasus. @ COSHAMO, your passion is definitely appreciated. I hope that instead of being an "introvert", you are spreading your insight and knowledge and passion to young impressionable minds so that they don't succumb to HIV/AIDS and the pressure to have sex period (let alone raw sex). I think that it's our job as mature gay men of color to save the next generation instead of look at them and shake our heads. The only concept they REALLY have of HIV/AIDS is Magic Johnson. And people still don't think he really has the disease. I didn't, but for those of us who saw people die (almost weekly) from an epidemic (now pandemic); that firsthand knowledge of the devastation should be shared with our youth so that they don't fall victim to lust and feelings. Thank you so much for your passion, but let's all turn our passion into action! That's if we truly want to save our people, and not just ourselves.

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African King
02/02/2013 11:33pm

It seems like you've been thru a lot to arrive to this point that you're honest about what you want out of a relationship. I love your post. I don't think things could be said any better. #thetruth

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Kyle
02/03/2013 4:10pm

PREACH Coshamo!!! I agree with you 500%

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02/03/2013 6:16am

This is a very good discussion.
One thing for sure and we all know this- you can bring a horse to the water but you sho can't make him drink. There is so much information out about risky sexual behavior and people still engage in risky sex.
They say there is nothing new under the sun, Think of the decadence of the Roman empire times. I believe we are living in a similar time.
I did try to help some young guys that were HIV pos on another web site and the effort went flat. Amazingly the first 12 guys that signed up for the group were all young early 20's or younger and from the same city. I was like wow- what's going on therer>
The Schools these days are an open cesspool for endless sex. It's just the reality of it all.
I am a believer that one size does not fit all-- meaning that because you are gay, bi , DL or whatever, does not mean there is such an insatiable appetite for sex. Everybody's different. I was celibate for years after my divorce and that was my choosing. And I must say, from what i see from being reintroduced to the "gay" world, I didn't miss a damn thing. Thankful I am !!
This all boils down to a personal responsibility thing. I had a very good career, kids growing up, and a nice long time of being involved in the church so going out clubbing, hook ups and all that just was not a part of my life.
On the other hand , I did have old friends i'd run into from time to time and they were still running from pillar to post. Very unstable.
I have my moments and a nice young boi sho sounds delicious-- but hey, I can rub one out, and there aint no harm and no risk.

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