As you read my posts on this website you'll discover that I have a fascination with COMING OUT STORIES. Every guy I meet that tells me, "My family knows" or "My friends know", I ask what were the circumstances that lead to them knowing. EVERYONE has a unique experience but the stories always fall into two categories:
Coming Out and/or Being Outed.
I'm not Out myself so the subject interests me...It wasn't until I hit 30-years-old that I fully accepted being Gay [ie: seriously trying to acquire fellow Gay friends as well as Gay dating and relationships instead of just casual hookup sex].
But by then it was too late to "Come Out". At this age, I'm a grown-ass-man. No need to sit anyone down to make an announcement about a sex life that doesn't concern them.
Also, when people know you're Gay, that becomes your label. You become "The Gay Son" or "The Gay Cousin" or "The Gay Friend" or "The Gay Co-Worker" to all of the non-Gay people in your life.
Example: "Hey Everyone. This is my friend, Nick Delmacy (whispers: He's Gay)."
So I choose remaining Discreet [not DL, I believe there is a difference].
Unfortunately, being "discreet" brings its own set of complications that we'll discuss in later posts.
Bye Bye Black Bi-phobia?
It seems to me when people think of bisexual men, they automatically think of the down low (DL) lifestyle, Bishop Eddie Long, HIV / AIDS coupled with treachery and deceit.
Some feel that bisexual men are not being true and honest with themselves and are really homosexuals attempting to hold on to the last bastions of their heterosexuality by claiming they still have sexual attractions to women. These observations and assumptions are especially true in the African American community.
But the recent article
released by researchers at Northwestern University
and published online in the journal Biological Psychology, proves scientifically that bisexual men do exist (break out the torches and pitchforks). For some of us this is no surprise of course but with even this new information and scientific data, you will still have some folks who will push this information aside and hold true to their misguided beliefs...It is either gay or straight and no gray area.
But there is a gray area and it’s contrast is far and wide. Personally for me sexuality is not some rigid object that is put into a container and stored away from inquisitive eyes as to not stir sexual curiosity or as to not be defined by skewed religious ideology (which is why we have some of the issues we have today). It is something that should be discussed and explored with an un-judgmental, non-emotional mind so we can understand and have a better sense of our collective sexual awareness.
Ever thought of vacationing in Mexico but can’t think of anywhere besides Cancun? Well know there is more to Mexico than Cancun, Tijuana and border drug violence. The Riviera Maya is a great all inclusive resort area and a beautiful place to vacation for black gay couples.
From zip-lining, to scuba diving, snorkeling, exploring the many cenotas (underground exposed rivers and lakes), swimming with dolphins, visiting the zoo or aquarium, visiting the Mayan pyramids in Tulum and Acobe, or catching a cab to party in Cancun; There is plenty of adventure and sight seeing to be had around Riviera Maya, Mexico.
Now for those of you who don’t know or have never been to an all inclusive resort; it means 24/7 of all the beer, liquor and food you want including 24 hour room service. Everything is included in the price of your trip (Airfare + Room).
Both of the resorts I feature in this post below are gay friendly adults only (no damn kids) resorts. No, they are not gay resorts, they are resorts that are friendly to gay patrons...there is a difference.
I'm a black man. No denying that. I also happen to be gay. No denying that either (at least not anymore, smh)
So hypothetically speaking, let's say a group of beloved popular musicians (one that consisted of all Caucasians), made an entire song demonizing and slandering African Americans. Would I be able to view them the same way ever again?
Probably not...No, fuck that. I absolutely would not! They would be on my shit list.
Having said that, I'm reminded of an experience I had recently.I went to see a
cool documentary, "Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest"
. This flick, directed by actor Michael Rapaport,
follows what may be the last collective tour by the group and gives a history on their origins. I became nostalgic as I heard the back-stories of some of my favorite songs growing up.
But then, days later, something hit me. It was like that scene in the movies where the person bolts upright in their bed, dripping wet with sweat, from a horrible dream! I remembered a rare, early song by A Tribe Called Quest featuring Brand Nubian that was supposed to go on the "The Low End Theory" album (1991) but was pulled at the last minute.
I present it to you now, "Georgie Porgie", possibly the most homophobic song in the history of rap music:
"The Proof that one truly believes is in action" -Bayard Rustin (1912 - 1987)
"F@#k No!" I remember saying this to myself after I saw the documentary "Brother Outsider" years ago. I simply could not believe an open gay black man, from back in the day (back in the day meaning 40s-60s) was just so...OPEN! This man was intelligent, well spoken, handsome, a poet, writer, football player, singer and very active in the civil rights movement...and dammit he was black gay and proud. I simply couldn’t believe it. I was pissed because I never heard of this man until I was 30 years old. He didn’t fit any of the stereotypes white or black media had put in front of me concerning homosexuality (well maybe a couple but who really cares in this case) and I never heard of him in relation to the civil rights movement. What the f@#k?!
My pissed-offedness (yes I know that is not a word) changed to admiration and joy when the legacy fully set in of what had been hidden from me my whole life. Bayard Rustin was one bad muthafucka who fought for civil rights for all Americans. Understand this...If it were not for Bayard Rustin, chances are you would have never heard Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Why...because Mr. Bayard Rustin organized the ENTIRE march on Washington! Yes, this gay black brother handled his business. As we celebrate the unveiling of the Martin Luther King memorial in Washington DC, I personally will have a moment of silence for Bayard Rustin.
So as the black masses hate on homosexuality, we will know the truth; which is that America owes a lot of the civil rights movement and it's victories to Bayard Rustin.
Having a keen Fashion Sense has been the bane of many a Discreet Black Man and many heterosexual men accused of being gay. If you look good, clean and dress well...you must be gay or on the "down low"
Its assumed that if you're an out-of-shape, sloppy, poorly dressed man, then chances are you're straight
. Well...okay, there may be a little truth to this stereotype...but I used to be all of the above, and I'm gay, so it doesn't apply to everyone. So four years ago, I decided to get my ass into shape and become more "fashion conscious".
One day I hit the Internet and stumbled upon a blog created by a couple black "kids" who where into fashion. Little did I know that STREET ETIQUETTE
would become a weekly staple for me and redefine how I viewed fashion in general.
These young boys, Travis Gumbs
and Joshua Kissi
(pictured below), at only 22-years-old have done what many fashion stylist and designers twice their age are still struggling to achieve: Build a brand.
Jamal Parris (pictured above) and Spencer LeGrande recently risked their settlement money and spoke out on an Atlanta news station about their repeated childhood molestation at the hands of the Bishop Eddie Long. <PAUSE>
Ugh. Let's examine that entire previous sentence for a second.
1. "Jamal Parris and Spencer LeGrande..."
Let me just be blunt and say it: if he did what he was accused of, the Bishop Eddie Long had good taste at least. All of his accusers were very attractive from what I could see (with the exception of the fifth accuser, Centino Kemp, the makeup-wearing feminine dude who's photo you will not see in this post). What's disturbing though is that while I find them attractive now, as men...Eddie Long was allegedly attracted to them 10 years ago, as children.
I must admit; I do love muscles. I know the hard work and discipline it takes to transform your body to get the results you want. As a regular gym rat myself, I know thick muscular men are not for everyone and I know we do like our variety. From taller, to thinner, to stocky and short to husky and round.
I also know looks are not everything... Personally for me masculinity out shines looks any day (yes I am being honest)…but dammit there still aint nothing wrong with looking. So sit back and drink a protein shake while viewing the below pics….
Being true to our site's theme I thought I would post something with a masculine Latin man of color.
I came across this clip on Youtube of Toni Sales doing the Samba. I have to say I was captivated by his hips and the way he was working it. But also watch the reaction / expression of the TV host who is interviewing him.
Fellas, admit it...Everyone likes a nice pair of guns.
So while summer is here and you still have an excuse to show up in the club wearing an amazingly too-tight short sleeved T-shirt, get your workout on with loads of information from the pages of Muscle & Fitness Magazine
Whether your goal is to build on more muscle mass or to slim down that expanding midsection, you'll find plenty of helpful tips here in this downloadable document!
If you're using a Flash disabled device, try viewing the PDF here: Ultimate Training Guide