The Top 10 Reasons That You #Fail as a Gay/Bisexual Man...And How You Can Fix ThemDiscreet City | By Nicholas Delmacy
If you personally speak to any of us here at Discreet City, we'll freely admit that none of us are perfect. We're just speaking our mind and sharing what we think is a minority opinion and viewpoint in the gay community: Masculine, Gay and an American Racial Minority.
Having said that, we occasionally take stock of our own flaws and hold them up with the flaws of other men in our small (increasingly diminishing) community of masculine gay men of color.
This got me to thinking: As much as we'd like to rail against heterosexuals, we as a "community" are not much different than them in being damaged, hypocritical assholes....even to each other.
So while there are enough internal flaws we have to fill an encyclopedia, we've compiled a list of the Top Ten Fails that we here at Discreet City feel are worth pointing out. We've tried to weed out the obvious issues like superficiality and just focus on the flaws that are more deep rooted and ignored. Let's begin.
Yo Fellas! Today, April 30th, is the last day to nominate Discreet City for two categories in this year's Flavamen Blatino Awards
: Best New Website
and Best Non-Porn Blog
Its quick and easy to do!
1) Just go to their website here: http://blatinoawards.com/2) Nominate us for
Best New Website and Best Non-Porn Blog (both categories)3) Enter an email address (even one you just created)4) Verify your Nomination in the email they quickly send you
The Feminization of Black Males in Media Continues.
This time it’s in the form of Alex Newell of the show "The Glee Project".
First let me say I am not a follower or fan of the show (not to knock anyone who is) but when I heard that a black male would soon be added the show; I was happy to her about an additional person of color being cast.
Yes I was thinking “maybe they will add a Ne-Yo / Usher type character to the cast to give the show a much needed boost of black male masculinity...Man was I wrong.
Enter stage right, the plump and flamboyant Alex Newell from the reality show the “The Glee Project”. Alex won the opportunity to appear on the show as the character Wade. Wade’s dilemma on the show is that he wants to perform as his transgender alter ego “Unique” who by the way looks alike like “Precious”.
Glee is being championed for finally introducing a transgendered character in their lineup. The creators and producers of the show I’m sure feel as though they scored a double knock out by adding another minority and also introducing a transgender character.
Back in January 2012
, we told you about a new 6-episode series airing exclusively on the Canadian television network CTV
called "The L.A. Complex."
Well, after months of waiting, the show will debut in the on the C.W. Network
here in the United States
beginning Tuesday April 24th 2012
. Here's the official synopsis:
| || |
The L.A. Complex follows the lives of twenty-somethings living in the same apartment complex in L.A. trying to make it as actors, dancers, producers and comedians. Relationships begin and end, the need to succeed is tested and all characters are pushed to their breaking points.
To our surprise, the "twenty-something" characters in question included two attractive African American gay/bisexual men. The characters Tariq Muhammad
(Benjamin Charles Watson
) and Kaldrick King
) initially proved to be a refreshing depiction of masculine black /bisexual men on the screen. None of the typical feminine, pop-diva inspired stereotypes were seen at all. It was a breath of fresh air.
And many gay men of color agreed with us. Not only were we the first gay themed website to highlight the show, we began what
turned out to be an avalanche of interest in the black gay community to a non-U.S. airing show they would have never even been aware of normally. Our original article and video embed
were re-posted on sites like Rod 2.0
and many personal blogs
. This proved to us more than ever that many gay/bisexual men out there were thirsty for something more than Drag Queens and sassy black men wearing heels
. It is also key to note that data tracking shows that everyone who came to DISCREET CITY
from those sites listed above spent an average of 45 minutes to an hour surfing our pages, proving that we're also a breath of fresh air to audiences as well.See a new clip of "The L.A. Complex", In Just One Click.
Given that this magazine-styled website has grown so much in last eight months since its' birth, I felt it was time to revisit this Op-Ed
originally written by Octavius Williams
for Discreet City
back in our early days. Granted, most of our feedback, comments and emails have been positive and supportive, the core theme of our site, Masculinity
, still triggers a good deal of animosity.
To set the record straight, we make no bones about Discreet City having a clear, singular view on what we consider "masculinity." We have no interest in "redefining" masculinity to include obviously feminine traits and mannerisms. If this makes the leaning of the site somewhat conservative, so be it. We will continue to voice this minority viewpoint because there are many others out there that feel the same way as we do.
This is the reason that some masculine men choose to remain closeted. As gay masculine men, they just can not relate to feminine gay men and what is traditionally considered the "Gay Lifestyle." So where does that leave them? One person calls it "bashing" while we call it "choosing the company you keep." Everyone has that right. If this website were "A Site For Well-Mannered Men of Color" and we raised issues against the rise of ignorant, ghetto behavior in our community, there would NOT be as much disagreement.
Just because another person is gay doesn't mean that we are obligated to be attracted to them or even need to be friends. What matters is personality compatibility. For example, let's take black people in general. Some blacks are intellectuals, some are ignorant and ghetto. If I say I don't want to be associated with or date anyone with ghetto ignorance, that does not mean that I hate all black people in general. Its all a preference and choice.
Feminine men are doing just fine without Discreet City, trust me. They are all over the television, films, music, etc...They have thousands of websites and blogs, tumblr pages and twitter accounts. As one commenter noted, they seemingly have full run of a large segment of the entertainment industry. They are being represented to the fullest no matter how much people claim they are being "attacked."Also, this is not about "Coming Out" or "Showing Yourself." Not everyone wants to be a public figure or celebrity. True...it would be nice if there were more public examples of masculine Gay men in the media.
However, the best examples are always the men within arms reach, the men you can touch and talk to personally. This is the example we at Discreet City try to lead in our own community, to other Gay men we personally meet.
Again, this site was created to represent a minority voice in the gay community and we will continue to express that voice. You will never see gossip articles about Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, or the latest Diva fashion choices...we just give you the raw and the real, straight no chaser. Thank you to all those who have made Discreet City the hottest new website for Gay Men of Color. - Nick DSee the Original Op-Ed: "Opinion - Can We All Just Get Along? Well...Maybe Not", In Just One Click
Hey White LGBT Community…Maybe I Can Help You Understand?Discreet City | By Octavius Williams For a couple of weeks now, I have been reading articles via the internet that mentioned the leak of internal strategy memos from the conservative group National Organization for Marriage (NOM) and their opposition to gay marriage initiatives across the US. In a nutshell, a strategic goal of the NOM group was to drive a wedge between two key democratic constituencies, gays and blacks (as if the wedge already there was not big enough) in hopes of gaining additional opposition against support of gay marriage and pushing forward conservative agendas. I want to briefly discuss the feedback and comments from some white gay readers that were in response to the articles written by black bloggers or journalist. Hopefully my words can help the white LGBT community understand where others co
uld not. The overall consensus from the black gay journalists and the black gay blogosphere was that even though gay marriage equality is something that is needed, it is not high on the totem pole for the majority of the black LGBT community. The black community as a whole is a lot more concerned with the ills that affect our community, such as…
Continuing our series of articles showcasing Coming Out Stories
, we give you former athlete Will Sheridan
. Around this time last year, Sheridan appeared on ESPN
where he detailed the process of not only coming out to his unsuspecting parents, but also coming out to his Villanova University
basketball teammates in Pennsylvania
By then the '07 college graduate was "kinda over it." The 6' 8" tall Delaware native had already told all of the people that mattered in his life and just wanted to help others and maybe have them learn from his experiences. In the interview (embedded below), Sheridan recalls those first awkward moments in telling his freshman year roommate/teammate Mike Nardi,
whom he had already known for some time."I just said, 'I need to tell you something … I'm gay,'" Sheridan said."I just said, 'Don't go putting a hit on me or sniffing my underwear or nothing,'" Nardi said. "I mean I was surprised because it was new to me. I had never really experienced anything like that, but it's not like it mattered. I don't know. I mean, we were friends. Who cares?"
Even though our banner says, "A Site For Masculine Men of Color"
we get the occasional aggressive push back from readers on the issue of masculinity.
Recent articles like Are Young Black Boys & Men Becoming More Feminine?
, Masculine Homosexual Men of Color in Media?
, Is Hip Hop Too Soft?
and The Black Woman's Acceptable Homosexual
have sparked reader comments claiming that the problem isn't declining masculinity, its that masculinity itself needs to be redefined.
I'd argue that the redefinition of masculinity
is ALREADY the problem. Over the last 100 years we've seen the blurring of the lines of traditional feminine traits and mannerisms into a once masculine community of men of color in the United States of America
.The chalk line once clearly separating the genders has
been washed away in the rain of missing male role models for boys who look to Beyonce
, Nicki Minaj
and androgynous entertainers like Lady Gaga
for guidance...Allegedly.So to finally set the record straight, we've compiled this Visual History of the Decline of Black American Male Masculinity
See the Visual History of the Decline of Black American Male Masculinity
, In Just One Click
Back in July of 2009, attractive 20-year-old versatile gay porn star William Christoper Ratliff,
also known as Elmo Jackson
, was arrested in Atlanta, GA
for warrants issued from Tennessee
and his home state of Mississippi
. The charges ranged from Identity theft to check fraud. He was later convicted an
d served time in a Mississippi Correctional Facility
. Upon his release, Chris appeared to be healthy and happy. On his Facebook page he proudly displayed new photos showing that he'd put on a little weight and had recently tested negative for all STDs.So Elmo Jackson immediately got back to work, appearing in porn produced by leading distributor Black Rayne Productions; alongside mega-porn-star Ace Rockwood. It appears that old habits die hard. On March 8th 2012,
Ratliff was arrested again
for check fraud and forging documents. Being that this obviously violated the conditions of his parole, he was sent back to prison. This time he was sentenced to an additional eight years in the Central Mississippi Correctional Facility
, not being eligible for parole again until 2016.
The latest issue of openly Gay french photographer Eric Lanuit's
digital magazine, CHARACTER
, is finally available. This spring 2012 edition features beautifully striking images of masculine men of color playing hoops on the asphalt in various exotic locations. For those unfamiliar, CHARACTER MAGAZINE is created and published by Eric Lanuit and is described as a "fancy digital magazine of images and emotions." Each issue consists of amazing photography, write ups and poetry (In English and French) all of interest to gay men & lifestyle (though not exclusively).From his website: In July 2011, Eric's life between communication and photography led him to the creation of an international fancy digital magazine, CHARACTER. The magazine, only published online, is firstly all about the images, the emotions they create and the stories they tell. Each portfolio is presented by the text of a writer, a journalist or the photographer himself. Fairy tales, stories, fashion, travels, dreams, sports, daily life, fights, events or news…CHARACTER doesn’t know any limits and doesn’t have any taboos. The only thing that matters are the aesthetics whether it is in the beauty or in the ugliness.
See more photos of the men and the full Spring 2012 issue of CHARACTER
, In Just One Click